Your first consideration is your parents. How do they feel about you dating? Without their permission you won’t get very far and it will turn out to be an experience that falls flat if you do it under duress and out of rebellion.
So let’s consider how to approach them. Talking to both parents together may be frightening and too overwhelming for you.
Try taking Mom aside first. Suggest going to the shopping mall together. That way there will be less direct eye-contact and any conversation should seem lighthearted. Tell her what is going on in your life and that you would like to start dating but you need her advice. By telling her you need her, she will feel included and not excluded from this complicated stage of your growing up. Remember, she may still see you as her little girl and it could take a while for her to adjust to the fact that you are growing up right under her eyes into a young woman.
Do give Mom a chance to talk, to reflect and to state her feelings. By this time, you could be enjoying a cup of coffee together to have more eye contact together as the major issue has already been acknowledged in a non-confrontational way. Don’t think of what your response is going to be. Really and truly listen to Mom’s opinions. Hard as it may be to imagine, she has been through this herself and you will be able to glean important information from what she has to say if you do not prejudice the conversation with the idea that “times have changed”. Yes they have – but most of the basic rules still apply. You can enlighten her in a mature and gentle way.
When you return home, discuss the rules Mom and Dad have arrived at. Don’t shout – as much as you may be tempted to, as your buttons may be pressed on some issues. Shouting and anger will take away your standing and dignity and you don’t want that. You need to show your parents that you are mature. If you feel like shouting, rather excuse yourself as politely as you can and then write them a letter.
As parents, Mom and Dad need signs not only of maturity from you, but trustworthiness. If they do allow you to date and you promise to be home by a certain hour, then be home at that time. Naturally, they will want to meet the prospective date. Invite him over early for a cup of coffee. You may find your father taking your date off to one side for a “man-to-man” chat. Try not to get upset but to pre-empt this. It’s a guy thing; in fact it’s a protective mechanism that most fathers have. Your date will understand this being a male himself, possibly even with teenage sisters.
You may want to consider going out for your first date together during the day. This is easier for parents to cope with – consider a picnic at the beach or a visit to the shopping mall. Keep your phone on so that your parents can contact you if they are at all worried about you.
Your first date is the most important because it is the one which sets the standards for your future. If you cope admirably and prove to be reliable your parents will be much more relaxed when the time comes for you to go on dates again. Don’t forget this. You need their support. It’s tantamount for a good relationship at home and for your social life. Guys may go in and out of your life but your family is there to stay. Be considerate and remember that everyone deserves respect and acknowledgment.